if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new ‘gang’ way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get across to everyone.
I will always reblog things like this, it won’t ruin your blog or the look of it, and this could potentially save a life.
Ok, this bullshit fearmongering needs to stop.
No, this is not happening anywhere.
Spearing ‘WOMEN! DO THIS TO AVOID RAPE!’ information is not helpful, because rape is not like this. This serves no purpose other than to remind women that they need to live in constant fear of rape.
This is a perpetuation of rape culture.
Girls and Ladies are not the only people who are raped.
Most survivors of rape know their assailant.
Rapes by strangers generally involve the raped party being incapacitated in a public place (by drugs or alcohol) and are crimes of opportunity committed by rapists who troll such areas, not by protracted and premeditated actions.
This kind of thing exists and circulates -to keep women scared-
The number one place that people experience sexual violence is -in their own homes-, followed by -in the homes of the perpetrators-. Not by being lured to strange locations by Samaritan actions.
The message in the above will not keep you safe. But telling it to women (and note that is is specifically to WOMEN, not to any other group of people who might experience violence) over and over and over and over again indicates that women should be hyper-vigilant and that in the event that they experience violence/rape, they failed at vigilance.Yes, it’s good to be generally aware of your surroundings and keep apprised of whose around you and how their presence makes you feel; go with your gut and if something seems unsettling seek to remove yourself from the situation. That’s common sense. It shouldn’t come with an undertone of ‘or else you will be raped and/or murdered and it will have been your own fault’.
If you come upon an unattended child crying in a public place, and that child can’t give you any information other than a piece of paper with an address on it? It’s not just sound practice to take them to a police station, hospital, or other location of correct authority: IT IS YOUR LEGAL OBLIGATION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO BECOME INVOLVED. Not for your own safety, but for the safety of the child. That address probably isn’t a house full of gang rapists, but it might well be the home of the child’s abuser.
- Fat people should never admit that they need sustenance, much less like it. Admitting that you enjoy food while fat will cause the non-fat to criticize you for being unable to control yourself around food. Especially if you have a sweet tooth or like potato chips. Things like that are only acceptable if you are not fat.
- Fat people are unable to have eating disorders because if they had eating disorders they would be skinny, not fat. Fat people eat too much and therefore restricting their caloric intake is a good thing, right?
- Fat people do not love physical activity. Fat people do not dance, run, hike, bike, walk, jump, play organized sports, or move their bodies. Fat people never exercise and abhor the outdoors.
- Fat people are never allowed to eat in public or show that they do have the basic human requirement to derive energy from food. If a fat person, for instance, eats a burrito on the way to class they are just asking for rude insensitive comments and cruelty.
- Fat people are not allowed to be sexual, to get it on with a person of their choosing, to enjoy having other people enjoy their bodies, to give and receive pleasure of a physical nature. People who are partners or lovers of a fat person are considered automatically (and while this is sometimes the case, it is not always the case) to be ‘chubby chasers’ or fat fetishizers or somehow noble for loving that poor fatty. Fat people who are asexual or disinclined to physical displays of affection are that way because they can’t get any, not because this is simply who they are.
- Fat people must dress ‘flatteringly’ at all times so as to minimize the impact their fatness has on other people. Fat people must also wear sacks and eschew fashion because fashion is not meant for fatties.
- Fat people must never be proud of their other attributes; they must always be aware THAT THEY ARE FAT AND FAT IS BAD.
- Fat people must not use public transportation or travel or do other things that force other people to come into contact with them
- Fat people must be prepared to see bodies like theirs representative of evil, laziness, greed, excess, cruelty, and other such things which emphasize the idea that fatness is because of an inherent mental or personal flaw and that if you are fat, you are also all these things.
- Fat people must be prepared to answer invasive questions about their diet, exercise, health history, and the like at any given time because if they didn’t want to detail their entire physical makeup for complete strangers, they shouldn’t be fat.
- Fat people must believe that any sign of harrassment, sexual abuse and even rape is a good thing because they wouldn’t be getting any any other way. (Actual quote said to me, post-rape).
I know there’s more. Maybe I’ll revisit this in a bit and update it.
(CNN) — My daughter occasionally goes on a hugging and kissing strike.
She’s 4. Her parents could get a hug or a kiss, but many people who know her cannot, at least right now. And I won’t make her.
“I would like you to hug Grandma, but I won’t make you do it,” I told her recently.
“I don’t have to?” she asked, cuddling up to me at bedtime, confirming the facts to be sure.
No, she doesn’t have to. And just to be clear, there is no passive-aggressive, conditional, manipulative nonsense behind my statement. I mean what I say. She doesn’t have to hug or kiss anyone just because I say so, not even me. I will not override my own child’s currently strong instincts to back off from touching someone who she chooses not to touch.
I figure her body is actually hers, not mine.
It doesn’t belong to her parents, preschool teacher, dance teacher or soccer coach. While she must treat people with respect, she doesn’t have to offer physical affection to please them. And the earlier she learns ownership of herself and responsibility for her body, the better for her.
(More at the source.)
Filing this under “things to teach my children.”
ETA: tagged for discussions of sexual abuse and rape at source.
If you say that a woman wearing revealing clothes deserves to be sexually assaulted, you are saying that a woman’s body is inherently deserving of rape. That women are inherently deserving of rape. That women have to make sure their body is hidden in order not to deserve to be raped. That is misogyny in its purest form.
I keep meaning to do a proper post where I go through all the DV checklists & find examples in the 50 Shades series. But that requires me to re-read all three books & I’m not about that life. So we’ll go with controlling behavior & Ana’s inner thoughts and feelings. Anyone with a stronger stomach is welcome to tackle Christian’s belittling & violent behavior. I made it through these two checklists & now my soul hurts. These books are awful on so many levels, but the worst part to me is that this is supposed to a romantic escape from reality. There’s nothing romantic about watching someone go through the cycles of abuse, until she gives up & gives into his every whim.
Does your partner:
act excessively jealous and possessive?
Shortly after their first meeting Christian follows Ana to a night club where he sees her being kissed by her friend Jose. He gets angry at her and the friend despite the fact that he has no romantic relationship with Ana at that point. For the rest of the book, any mention of Jose upsets him.
control where you go or what you do?
One of the ways Christian expresses his concern for Ana’s well being is by demanding that she tell him where she’s going and when. He uses the GPS chip in her phone to track her movements, and follows her when she leaves town to visit her mother in order to press his case for a sexual relationship once again.
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
Christian talks Ana into signing a non disclosure agreement about their relationship before telling her he wants her to be sexually submissive. As a result of that agreement she can’t legally confide in anyone about the nature of their relationship. The secrecy is a strain, and rather than lie to anyone she has to continually turn to him with anything that concerns her about what he wants from her.
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
Christian decides he doesn’t like the look of Ana’s classic car. He buys her a new one, and badgers her into agreeing to sell her vehicle. After she sells her car, Christian continuously tries to find reasons to keep her from driving the new car he’s purchased for her.
constantly check up on you?
Christian emails Ana constantly, and gets upset when she doesn’t respond on his timetable. He admits to using her phone to track her movements, and makes jokes about stalking her.
- feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
Ana is constantly worried about Christian being angry with her & is hesitant to speak up or push back when he gets upset. Even when she does fight back she usually folds in a matter of minutes & gives him what he wants.
- avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
There are too many examples to list. Ana spends more time managing his emotions than she does taking care of her own.
- feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
Christian wants a submissive partner & refuses to accept that Ana is not submissive. She keeps trying because she loves him & he uses that to hurt her.
- believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
Ana decides Christian’s so perfect that there must be something wrong with her every time they have a fight. This guy takes over her life, punishes her sexually for not being at home when a would be kidnapper shows up (he was wrong, she saved herself by going out with a friend & that seems to upset him the most), and Ana somehow winds up convinced it’s her fault too.
- wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
Ana spends a lot of time confused, upset, & crying, but she doesn’t seem to connect that with Christian’s treatment of her. Instead she focuses on what she thinks she’s doing wrong in their relationship & strives to normalize his antics.
- feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Ana can’t even manage to stay angry with Christian. She’s so numb that when he embarrasses her at work in a bid to get her to change her last name she agrees to do it despite her own feelings on the matter. She comes the closest to being able to stay mad at him at the end of the 3rd book & even then she forgives him again.
sounds a lot like twilight.
… oh wait.
I think Twilight is less disturbing. Yes I know how that sounds. No I don’t feel good about saying it, but E.L. James made Twilight worse & I think we should all acknowledge that sad reality.
TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
Overly Attached Girlfriend
“I’ve never seen anything so creepy and funny at the same time.The 9 second stare down at the beginning was too scary for me. Did not finish. Those eyes.”
Can we talk about how this is supposed to be funny when it’s in fact a really accurate and horrifying depiction of an abusive relationship? Would there still be a frillion notes of people laughing if this were a male-coded singer writing these lyrics about a female-coded partner?
TW: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR PRO-INDIGENOUS GENOCIDE COMMENTS
As humans develop as a species, becoming largely more technologically advanced, the needs to preserve existing indigenous populations diminish. Efforts to preserve such indigenous populations actually come at the cost of world prestige. As tragic as the death of rich cultures and indigenous populations is, it is essential for humans to continue progressing both technologically, but also evolve into smarter beings. The expense of barbaric indigenous populations is the price of progress.
So, you want to support the continuing genocide of hundreds of different tribes throughout the Americas, Africa, Scandinavia, Australia, Siberia, India, Oceania, among other regions with high indigenous populations? Why is it that our technological “superiority” gives us the right to steal their land, destroy the environment and KILL (and rape, mind you) millions of innocent people? Instead of abusing our privileges, why don’t Western minds figure out ways to both advance technologically without the destruction of lands and cultures? These cultures (traditions, langauges, practices) often hold knowledge of things that Western sciences haven’t documented. Do you realize how many plants are undocuments by Western sciences, yet many do have medicinal qualities only known to indigenous groups in the Amazon and elsewhere in the world? There are also many animals that biologists haven’t documented that are known to indigenous groups.
Since when is science and technology the be-all-end-all anyway? Isn’t humanity (and I’m not just talking about to other humans, but all of nature as well) a desired goal?
I am deeply hurt and offended that you refer to indigenous populations as ‘barbaric’. Tell that to several my friends, who are of Cherokee, Lenape, Saami, Gael, Basque and Quechua descent, most of whom still have their traditions and culture. They’re just as much people as you and I. This first-world mindset is very harmful to everyone, as it creates a rift in humanity saying that people are “less fit for living” just because of their ethnicity and race.
Now, I hate to pull this card, but dictators like Hitler, Franco and Stalin (but more so the first) had your ideology that the price of progress is human life of people they viewed as lesser.
As tragic as the death of rich cultures and indigenous populations is, it is essential for humans to continue progressing both technologically, but also evolve into smarter beings. The expense of barbaric indigenous populations is the price of progress.
Things like this make me nauseous. Folks wonder why we’re so protective of our cultures and our right to be self-determining peoples… this is what we’re up against. Even people that think our situations are ‘tragic’ believe that Indigenous people not as evolved. Not as human. That we are less worthy of life. Doesn’t matter how “rich” our cultures are. By existing - by surviving - we become obstacles in the way of progress. We are the price that folks like this are willing to pay for their own ideas of ‘progress’. Ideas firmly rooted in racism and greed.
To some, this might seem far removed from the realities of Indigenous people in the US and Canada but that’s only if you don’t know about the rhetoric used to promote and justify expansion, removal, and of course Manifest Destiny. This is the rhetoric that sent thousands upon thousands of Indian children to boarding schools to ‘civilize’ them. The same words that made it so folks don’t flinch when they hear the rates of violence against Native women. It only seem unrelated if you don’t know what’s happening in the Black Hills, the San Francisco Peaks, the XL Pipeline, and tribal lands all over the continent.
Our lives are still for sale in the name of progress.