Words never used to describe Black women:
- Dainty
- Delicate
- Elegant
- Poised
- Fragile
- Genteel
- Graceful
Lets add those to our vocabulary on a regular basis, shall we?
You REALLY want to be called dainty, delicate, and fragile? Genteel?
Not by me. No sir. Super hard space metal wrapped in a velvet glove lined with fur maybe. But delicate, dainty, and fragile?
Absolute not.
Genteel? Maybe…my grandmother is the most churchy person I know and even SHE’S not genteel.
Yes, yes I do. Because I AM all of those words. But because of anti-Black racism and sexism, Black women are denied the very basis of femininity. We aren’t allowed to hurt. We’re supposed to be able to ‘do it all by ourselves” and never show weakness and parade around acting like we’re made of teflon coated adamantium.
No thank you.
I am genteel, fragile, delicate and dainty.
Aw… Black women want to be infantilized like white women are?
But really, you’re ahead of the curb. That’s what REAL equality feels like.
That’s how most/all men feel all the time.
But at least your worth isn’t measured by both men and women by how confident and invulnerable you can be. (Or… ONLY vulnerable in a romantic context after you’re already in a relationship founded on how invulnerable you are…)
How about extending that genteel, fragile, delicate/dainty stuff to US.
(Specially black men, their hardness expected of them is off the charts.)At the bolded, that’s not my intention. Your last sentences are what I really want in terms of giving Black people humanity. We are always supposed to be “hard,” both Black men and women. We’re supposed to be able to take any and everything and shuck and jive it off like good little Mammies/Uncle Toms.
As I said in another post, we take care of things that are deemed “delicate.” The care is what I focus on, not the sexist infantilization of my womanhood.
Fair.
How would you draw the line/distinction?There is a level of condescension that comes with infantilization. One can treat me as a delicate individual without acting as if I can’t do anything for myself.
Just as one can treat a man as a delicate individual without insinuating that his “manhood” is in jeopardy.
But I don’t imagine we should idealize/foster female delicacy, or delicacy as a female trait, right?
And I don’t think initialization necessarily means condescending.
I don’t think I normally use a condescending tone with small children or young adults.
I think of them all as my equals. Even babies. Just people like you and me… who just happen to not know how to do anything beside cry and writhe.My issue is the fact that Black women are denied femininity PERIOD, and thus my post may come off as gender essentialist in some ways.
Because delicacy is denied to me as a black woman, it should be fostered in a healthy manner that does not hinder my functioning as a decent human being.
girl, these niggas. i aint even going there with eyan-j’s tom ass. *smh* they cant even interpret the base post because they just don’t fucking get it. cause i never saw you wanted to be infantilized and i certainly do not think the way Black women are treated makes us above or close to equal to anyone at all, shape or form. and then to turn it into a boohoo what about the brothers (extend that to us, fuck you) type shit? misss the fuck outta me.
that lil danyphantom negro and eyanj w their antiblack misogyny, all butthurt and writhing in anger at black women wanted to be considered as delicate as anyone else?
theyre repeat offenders.
that lil danyphantom shithead used to comment on my shit all the time, ALWAYS on some condescending PRO-WHITE, PRO-MALE bullshit, told him to stop bothering me or he’d get blocked, and he continued doing so several times after being told off til i did block his ass.
and eyanj stays on some antiblack misogynist “boohoo males are the true victims” bullshit, talmbout “why do these women have to talk at all” every damn day.
its just like real life where the only way you hear from negroes is when theyre gonna come shit on you.
you can scream and holler in pain coz everyones killing you
and they will sit there and file their nails til its time to join in on ravaging you.
fuck them to fucking hell
Hey, assholes earlier in this thread?
Look at this list of words. Really LOOK at it:
- Dainty
- Delicate
- Elegant
- Poised
- Fragile
- Genteel
- Graceful
Aside from arguably the word ‘fragile’ there’s not a goddamned word on that list that indicates a lack of strength or personal conviction. There’s nothing infantilizing there - unless you’ve already bought into the belief that femininity is inherently infantile.
And Fragile? Know what fragile in this sense indicates? WORTH OF CARE AND PROTECTION. If you think that something that’s fragile can’t also be strong, or that even if it isn’t also strong that it’s not worthy of respect, you are a horrible human being.
What the OP wants is access to the same variety of available identities and social attitudes that white women have access too.
To be motherfucking dainty
And delicate
And Elegant
And Poised
And yes, Fragile
And Genteel
And Graceful
Because blackness should not be a fucking special and marked category of femininity.
WHY IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND?
