[discussion of self-harm, suicide, and shame and dismissal of both]
Here is a point I will never tire of making:
if someone is willing to hurt themselves “for attention,”
PAY. THE FUCK. ATTENTION.
When you say someone slicing up their wrists is “just looking for attention,” when you say someone saying they’re contemplating suicide “just wants attention,” hell, beyond that, when someone is consistently getting themselves in huge trouble and acting out and you say they “just want attention,” when any extreme behavior has its causes ascribed to attention-seeking, here is what I see:
I see you looking at someone who just staggered up to you, dust-covered and delirious and dehydration written on every inch of them, and dropped to their knees and begged you for water, offering them anything in return - I see you looking at them and saying “Oh, they’re just thirsty, it doesn’t matter.”
No. Really. That’s what it’s like.
When someone is clearly expressing a desperate need for something physical, whether it’s the above thirsty wanderer or an allergic person pleading with you to grab an epi-pen (more likely), we grant that. We acknowledge the need.
Attention - help - in the above scenarios is a deeply legitimate need. Regardless of any other circumstances at all, anyone willing to go to those extremes is not healthy. Anyone willing to go to such an extreme is not okay. Anyone willing to go to such extremes has a problem, and they need and deserve help with that problem. And that kind of help starts with someone concerned enough and caring enough to pay attention.
If someone’s looking for that, either be that someone, or point them in the right direction. Don’t tell them they’re selfish for searching in the first place.
